Nothing

               My brain is not a brain that slows down very often.  It is constantly running with one topic or another.  Always thinking, I have a tendency to combine sentences when I speak because I am trying to get both thoughts out at the same time.  This usually leads to people looking at me as though I am not too bright in the head.  That is not a look I like to see.  I know what I am saying.  It just comes out a bit jumbled because of everything else going on.  This has nothing to do with intelligence.

                Lately, in order to give my overactive brain a rest, I have taken to doing nothing.  I do not mean I just stare at the wall or lie on the couch and have my eyes glaze over watching the TV.  Instead I give myself time to just be.  Sometimes I read or do a puzzle.  Often I lay with my eyes closed and try to clear my mind of all thoughts.  No matter which direction I choose, I make sure to concentrate on one thing instead of several as I usually do.  I enjoy what I am working on, or not working on, without planning or fretting about the next thing in line.  All the stress and negativity gets removed for awhile and I am able to breathe.

                I did this a lot at a quilt retreat I went to recently.  This may sound strange coming from a quilt designer and maker, but my attention span for sewing is about one hour.  I am not making this up.  Sewing is not something I particularly like to do (what I love is design) and I get quite restless in a very short amount of time.  At the retreat I was able to go longer than an hour, but I could tell when I got to that mark because I became antsy.  It is as though my body knows the 60 minutes are up.  After I stopped sewing I could have easily walked out of the room, but I did not.  Instead I took the time to do nothing.  I watched the other sewers but did not watch them all at the same time.  The sounds of chatter and sewing machines I let float around me as I remained calm and not stressed.  I did not feel rushed or as though I should be doing something because I let everything go.  My decision to do nothing for a little while was very freeing.

                There are people who are able to just be and do nothing all day, every day.  I do not mean they literally do nothing, but they somehow are able to enjoy every moment and not stress about things.  They can take time for themselves without their brains running all over the place.  I am not one of those people by far.  The fact that I have been able to clear my mind lately, even for short amounts of time, is a huge accomplishment for me.  I have also found that these nothing moments help my work.  When I come back from them, I am raring to go.  I think of new thoughts, plans, and ideas which I am eager to put into practice.  With all that I have going on, a nothing moment is sometimes the best thing I can give myself during the day.