Today We Go Home: A Novel by Kelli Estes

    Sometimes I come across a book that is just important to read.  That’s it.  It just has to be read because of the message it gives.  Today We Go Home is one of those books.

    Larkin Bennett’s military career has ended and she is trying to find her way in civilian life.  This is not easy.  She is haunted by her experiences in Afghanistan, and blames herself for her friend Sarah’s death.

    With no family to leave her belongings too, Sarah has left it all to Larkin.  Larkin has to remove everything from a storage locker, and when she does, she discovers an old diary.  A diary from the 1860s.

    The author of the diary is Emily Wilson.  She begins the diary after her father and brother, David, leave to fight in the Civil War.  It is something her father gives her to record everything that happens on the farm.  A record he will read when he gets back.

    Sadly, Emily’s father never returns.

    Mr. Wilson dies in battle, and David ends up gravely ill.  Wanting to care for David, Emily and her other brother, Ben, find their way to the military hospital where David is being cared for.  Once they arrive, they do their best to keep him alive.  Despite their efforts, David does not survive.

    With only each other left (their mother died years earlier), and Emily having wanted to fight in the war from the start, Emily and Ben decide to stick together and join the fight.  Emily disguises herself as a man, and Ben teaches her mannerisms common to men.  With these lessons and the disguise, Emily successfully joins the military.

    Being in disguise, Emily knows she must always be on guard.  The strain of this lessens when she and Ben befriend another disguised woman, Willie.

    Ben, actually, knew Willie was a woman before Emily, and he quickly falls in love with her.  When Emily discovers the truth of the situation, she vows to do everything in her power to protect them both.  A power easily taken out of her hands.         

    Back in the current day, Larkin is struggling to live through each day.  She’s living with her grandmother and cousin, but even their love and care can’t keep Larkin from turning to alcohol and suicidal thoughts. 

    The alcohol is how Larkin tries to numb the pain of her experiences.  As for the suicidal thoughts, the only thing keeping her from carrying them out is not wanting to cause her grandmother pain.  After a while, even that reason begins to fade.

    Falling deeper and deeper into depression, Larkin has to find a way out before it is too late.

Light at the End of the Tunnel/Artwork by Kate Dorsey

    There are so many reasons this book is important to read.  The biggest reason is Larkin’s experience with Post-Traumatic Stress.  It is something we hear about, but I don’t know how many truly understand.  With Larkin, we get a glimpse of what it might be like to live with this condition.

    Another reason this book is important is because of the emphasis of women in the military, both today and in the past.  There are struggles women faced in the past that they still deal with today.  While women no longer have to disguise their gender, many still must battle the lack of basic respect awarded to their male counterparts.  It is a shame women must do this, after all they have accomplished and proven themselves capable. 

    As Larkin experienced, it is not just in the military this happens, but out of it as well.  In some ways, the lack of respect Larkin received in civilian life is worse than what she experienced in service.  It makes me ask, when will women be able to stop having to fight for respect?

    Something Larkin did to help her through her tough times was research other women who have fought in the military.  She would research and write about them on her blog.  I don’t know if a blog like this actually exists, but it would be great if it did.  There have been women throughout history who have fought alongside the men.  It is time they get recognized.